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This week is so full of information for us all! We have the document named: Human Needs: His/Her Needs, where we talk about what we need to be happy and be able to develop in life towards our goals….it is a great read, and you can begin applying the concepts and make your own list of frustrated needs and how to solve them.
Well, if you don’t want to write your own list, unassisted, then…you have the survey!
This lovely survey is here, inside this forum, and you can fill it by clicking on this link: http://nationalrelationshipsmonth.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/2-humanneeds.pdfThis is all; now is your turn…read the document, fill the survey and have the complete map of your needs, (where it hurts the most) and let’s start a conversation about how to solve them, here.
The survey said I’m surviving…not good. I’d rather be happy, open, and in communication with my husband. I don’t understand why he can’t be open and honest with me, he’s so guarded and cagey. I’m very frustrated with him.
Hi Jen_quit,
If you could stop yourself from the thinking about why he can’t be open and communicate with you…that is a lot of lost energy for you. Work on strengthening yourself: list the interests that would satisfy your needs, keep a plan for including more of the aspects that satisfy you in your life every day. And detach from the illusion that he has to satisfy you in every aspect.When we marry, companionship is expected. Without basic verbal communication, how can any need ever be satisfied? Without communication there’s really no marriage, you’re more like roommates. I have older siblings that have been married for 40+ years, they still talk and hang out with each other, it’s not hard. They don’t necessarily do everything together, but when they’re home, life is pretty relaxed and easy.
This is a real life lesson, right? don’t marry a person who can’t communicate with you?
Well, it’s not so clear cut; communication depends on having a voice, but also on the psychological connection with the people we have around. And of course, this is a skill we learn with time and the wish to reach out…what I’m trying to say is that any man can develop a bit of skill if they are motivated enough. Here I have this attitude that, when a human being receives a positive message of acceptance, they will somehow learn to connect….there are exceptions, of course, but those are people so hurt that they choose to cut themselves from the daily back and forth of human communication.
Which kind of human being is your husband? are you so burn out from his silence that you can’t consider a more compassionate view of him?
I do’t have the answer to that question, but you can consider them, and get your own answers.
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