ARE YOU DREADING FACING THE SAME PEOPLE WHO HAVE ABUSED YOU BEFORE, AND THAT YOU MANAGED TO AVOID ALL YEAR? IS THE PROSPECT OF VISITING “FAMILY” MAKING YOUR HEART HURT AND YOUR STOMACH CHURN WITH FEAR?
Holidays are a time of Joy, Togetherness, Family, Peace…. or so we are told to feel. Most people will scoff at that statement, roll their eyes, or feel the tension build in their shoulders or stomachs as they think “I wish.”
For some people, this tension comes mildly from a hectic calendar, shopping dread, or vague discomfort with all that the holidays entail. A break from it all during lunch with a friend, maybe a glass of wine or a bubble bath may get you through.
But for some, the tension comes from the pressure and anxiety over being with family, family that you may dread and manage to avoid seeing for most of the year because they have abused you or others in some way, emotionally, verbally, or even physically, and now with the holidays you are forced to endure their presence in your life, your home, your “happy holidays.” A bubble bath may feel less than adequate, or simply impossible.
Do you know which of these 2 categories you fall into? Are you somewhere in between? Answer the questions below and find out just how dreadful you perceive the holidays to be, and more importantly, how you can get through them with less pain this year!
- Do you look at your to do list and sink into a chair feeling overwhelmed or defeated before you begin?
- Do you sink from a fear or anxiety over upsetting someone if you don’t accomplish the list, or get it “just right?”
- Do you you look over your calendar of activities in dread?
- Do you dread it because of the people that will be there rather than because of the actual activities?
- Does your dread, fear or anxiety cause you headaches?
- Does your dread, fear or anxiety cause your stomach to churn?
- Does your dread, fear or anxiety cause you to lose sleep or have nightmares?
- Does your dread, fear or anxiety cause you to shake, breathe faster, or any other “panicky” feelings?
- Does your dread, fear or anxiety cause you to become irritable and angry constantly?
- Do you “just know it will get ugly/ruined/awful/miserable?”
- Would you be able to smile over some of those activities, if others were not on that list?
- Is there a particular person you most resent/fear/cringe at the thought of being near?
- Do you have a Family Holidays Horror Story every year?
If you answered YES to all of these questions – the holidays are a miserable prospect for you, but they don’t have to be. With some advice from our blog posts as well as a place to discuss the holidays with others in your same mindset, you can get through this and even have some Happy in Your Holidays.
If you answered YES to some of these questions – You’ll get through, as you always have, with some good moments and some bad, but deserve to give yourself even Happier Holidays this year by reading the blog posts and joining the discussion too. Maybe you have made some changes in past years and could offer some helpful advice to those with deeper dread.
If you answered NO to all of those questions – Happy Holidays!!! Please take a few moments to spread the joy with a little advice for those in need in During the Dread-full Holidays.
To All of you,
Lots of Love, Peace and Joy this season (yes, we’ll help you have those things too!)