Relationship Repair , Your 4 Weeks Action Plan

How Much Love Do You Want This Valentine’s Day?

norafem — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:43:51 +0000

Now that Valentine’s Day is approaching, what are your heart’s desires? More peace at home? A better relationship with your spouse? What about just more love? Have you thought about how you’re going to achieve those desires?

You know what you want most from your life this year, so tell us… We can help you make it! National Relationships Repair Month continues with our new “Valentine’s Dream” survey, created just for you, so that you can tell us more about your deepest relationship cravings.

You are the person who knows the most about your needs, so tell us what you’d like to see happen in your life. We would love to know your desires… Can you please fill out this survey? This way, a conversation can be started about how to make you happier (and you might just get to know yourself better, as well!)

You have the power to create a happier, less complicated life – the journey begins and ends with you. That means your opinion is vital here. Can you help us help you? There is a bag of goodies waiting for you, to make you happier!

By filling out the survey, you’ll also get a free Personal Relationship Rescue Coaching Session. It’s a one-on-one call that can rescue your relationship!

Planning your New Self, in 2012? here is how!

norafem — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 12:14:37 +0000

After all the conversation about improving your relationships, probably you have a better idea of what works in your marriage…and what doesn’t. Using the starting of the 2012 New Year as a marker, we offer here a plan to strengthen those areas which you found wanting. In the format of a letter to yourself!

INSTRUCTIONS:

The purpose of this exercise is to have a letter to yourself that you will open a year from now. You will detail your present challenges, which could be aspects impacting your relationship like:

Your low Self-esteem level;
Having Anger issues and acting them out;
Poor Communication skills;
Emotional re-connection missing because refusal to apologyze.
Other

You will then tell your future self how you plan to improve these aspects of yourself.

You can ask us for help on crafting any part of this letter, but you must make an honest effort to identify your own challenges, document your struggles, display your resolve to change, and stick to your plans and resolutions.

Setting them down on paper will make them real and unavoidable.

No more procrastination! Repair work starts today!

Print the next page so that you can fill it out, save it and open it one year from now.

Binding Contract to My Self

I, ________________________________, pledge in the next year of 2012 to implement the following plans for actively repairing my relationships.

Issues I pledge to resolve:

_________________
_________________
_________________

Resolutions for change to be made during year 2012, which I pledge to implement:

I will do the following steps:

___________________
___________________
___________________

SIGNATURE: ____________Questions to my future self:How do you feel now that you have done these changes?
What does your relationship feels like?
Now, how much more happiness can you wish for?NOW, POST THIS LETTER AThttp://www.rememberthemilk.com/

AND MAKE THE SYSTEM SEND IT AS A LETTER TO YOU ON….January 1st, 2013.

Fourth Week: Apology and Forgiveness

norafem — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 22:00:57 +0000

How often do you tell your spouse “I’m sorry…”?

And how many times it is followed by the silly phrase “…that you feel I did something wrong”?

The value of a good apology, and how to give one, is what we are discussing here in Week Four: APOLOGY and FORGIVENESS

Today we uploaded the text called: “THE ART of SAYING I’M SORRY”. Apologizing is never fun – somehow in our culture we grow up thinking that apologizing means admitting weakness, or giving the “enemy” “ammunition.”

We need to throw down that combative mindset right away! Apology must be seen as a form of taking responsibility, not losing out, in order to repair a relationship.

Each us agrees to be adults and support the other when we get married. When we don’t hold up our side of the bargain, someone gets hurt. And hurting each other – whether we mean to do it or not – is something we have to make amends for.

The when, how and why of apologizing can be discussed here, on our forum.

We’ll be looking at a case study that explores responsibility and taking recuperative action. Don’t miss it!

Why 52% Of People Feel That They Don’t Get The Credit They Deserve?

Neil Warner — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 19:06:12 +0000

This graphic is part of the survey about the human needs of our participants, where 87 participants answered 11 questions about their own needs.

What is surprising of these results, is that more than half of the respondents clearly feel that they don’t receive the recognition they deserve. And this is without counting those that already have given up hope that things can get better.

So, as we are burning the last days of 2011, I want to turn the tables and ask you to think about:

Why is it that people have a hard time being appreciative of the efforts of other people?

What are the consequences of the lack of appreciation in their lives? and in yours?

but also:

Can you guess what will be your partner’s answer to this exact same question?

Enough thinking for a single post…

It’s my turn to say thank you:

Thank you for sharing your experiences;

Thank you for your comments and feedback;

Thank you for reading and commenting our thought pieces.

Best wishes for the holidays,
Neil

Listening: The Study Case Is Waiting For Your Input

Neil Warner — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 09:52:36 +0000

This week is all about listening, so today we have posted one case for you to think, and apply what is discussed on this weeks text, “How to Listen to Each Other” .

This case is about Fears, and Opening Up..

photo credit: Travelling_Artist

To view the case and join us for the discussion, please visit the Forum

The Secret Element: How Active Listening Deeply Changes Communication

Neil Warner — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 16:25:35 +0000

We are constantly sending messages to each other with our voices and bodies, and sometimes even by our silence!.

Do you understand what messages your spouse is sending you?
Do you know how to signal back that you got the message and it was well understood?
Do you know how to get your message understood by your spouse?

This week we are going to check some easy techniques to make communication much more fluent, and less emotional.

Join us in the Forum

Self-Esteem and The Art of Asking the Right Questions

Neil Warner — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 23:42:56 +0000

Many people ask themselves these questions:

Is There Something Wrong With Me, That I’m Denied Recognition?
What is the Value of What I Bring To This Relationship?
Why do I Always end on the losing end of a Relationship?

Although all of those questions are good valid ones, most of the time what

we are really asking is “How Valuable Do I See My Self?”

To zoom in all those questions we have created a sort survey:
Self-Esteem

where you can learn Six Very Simple Things That Your Can Do Today to Start Re-Building Your Inner Strength :

“Self-Esteem for Adults”

Regards,
Neil

Relationship Repair Month: Your Inner Compass

Neil Warner — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 13:07:39 +0000

On Week 2:

Is There a Place For Anger In Your Relationship?

Many people assume that because anger has the power to destroy trust, it is an evil thing to be avoided. However, what we will discuss in this text is how anger can be used as a constructive, positive force in your relationship.

Supercharging Your Inner Compass

The second task of this week is a cute survey to measure the level of your self-esteem…YES! here we are, asking you the basic questions, just here:

Self-Esteem Survey

One activity for this week was taking our Self-Esteem Survey.

Based on your results, you may have been encouraged to read another text for this week, in addition to the anger text.

Reading this week’s self-esteem text, “Self-Esteem for Adults” was optional. Some people struggle with self-esteem while others don’t, and low self-esteem within the relationship carries its own specific aspects.

In this space, you can discuss aspects of low-self esteem and how you feel it may be affecting your relationship. Let’s talk about our issues and get some answers…

We look forward to your comments!

Relationship Repair Month: First Week Summary

Neil Warner — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 21:02:46 +0000

What an Excellent Start!

This is a recap of what we have done in the first days:

As today more than 107 people joined the National Relationship Repair Month
We did a good job fixing some technical issues at the Forum

The Week One materials are now available for you:
How to Understand and Frame your Conflicts

This book goes over the reasons behind any argument, and puts them under a new light that make them more understandable.

His/Her Human Needs

Everything we do, we do it to satisfy our needs.
If you know what His and Your needs are, you can see through conflict with a complete new frame.

Survey: How are your human needs being satisfied now?

This survey, is a real kicker.. How do you rate today in your relationship?

And the special bonus:
Case Study #1

Team with us to use this example as the playground to apply the concepts to your own life… So you can learn with us!

As you can see, it’s has been a good start.

Feeling overwhelmed by all this content?

We wanted to give you a very good start, so we shared the main ideas with you. Now, having learning them the next week will be easier…

Let’s keep learning together!

Neil

Will You Help Us Solve This Case?

Neil Warner — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 20:38:59 +0000

Great News!
Just to make this more interesting, I have just posted a situation that can be used as study case for the content of the first week.
But do not fear, It’s going to be short and instructive.
And I also need your help, on how this case can be solved.
You can read more here : Case Study #1